


Winds of Change

by blossom_angel85



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, soul mates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 16:13:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17348414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blossom_angel85/pseuds/blossom_angel85
Summary: It has been a month since Joe White’s death and since Steve McGarrett has been back to his Island. Despite all of his Five-O Ohana wanting to be there for him, he has asked them to all remain in Hawaii till he can come up with a solid plan of attack. The only person he has let in has been Catherine Rollins. She was his first call only hours after Joe White’s death.This is the month they spent together before Danny came to Montana to implement their plan to avenge Joe’s death.A lot of it was formulating a plan.. The rest was falling in love again...





	1. Ke kāheaʻoe, e holo wau (When you call, I'll come running)

“Cath, It’s Steve.. I.. I need you”.

Those seven little words were all Catherine Rollins had needed to hear and she was jumping on a plane out to Montana before her last case had even officially wrapped up. It was hard to get someone to cover for her but she wasn’t going to let Steve go through this alone. She knew just how much Joe White meant to him. He was like a second father to him and losing him would just bout break him.

She remembered when he lost his father all those years ago and how she had been there for him the moment she could as well. They always found their way back to each other somehow. The fact he was asking for her and not for Danny or any of the other five-o members meant a lot to her.

The roads were familiar to her, Steve had taken her here many times before. Sometimes when Joe was around, and sometimes when he wasn’t. It wasn’t till many years later when Steve told her that Joe would often make himself scarce while they were there, just to give them some alone time together. Joe himself had also informed her at one point that Steve had never brought another woman to his ranch which made her feel more special.

Driving up the road that would take her into the ranch, her stomach was filled with nerves, She knew who sold Steve’s SEAL team out and she knew why as well. Agent Greer had ulterior motives all the time, she had always been the one to cover her own ass at the expense of others, but this time, this was personal.

Falling to Steve’s charms was easy for any woman, He was just that kind of man but though Steve never mentioned it to her, Catherine had heard through the grapevine about his short lived romance with Greer. She also heard rumors from her friends that Greer had been jealous of Steve’s interest in Catherine. It was when she met Greer herself that she realized just how true those rumors were.

Well wishes were tainted with slight hints and tinges of jealously when she tried to throw Catherine off with how Steve was not one to settle, though not that Catherine was ever bothered by it or believed her. She was actually amused if anything that the woman was still scorned by the fact that Steve had met someone else and his interests in hooking up with her were long gone.

Pulling up to the ranch, she got out of the car, her aviator’s still wrapped around her eyes, masking the sun, there was a chill to the air and she was thanking god that she had managed to pack some warm clothing, wrapping her jacket around her middle while walking easily to the porch of the ranch like she had done many times before. Knowing how rattled he was and that he most likely was laying low in there, gun already cocked, and listening carefully, making sure the car that had pulled up wasn’t his enemy, she knocked on the door lightly, her voice a low whisper, “Steve, It’s Cath”. 


	2. Meʻoe maʻaneʻi, hiki iaʻu ke ikaika  (With you here, I can be strong)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been a month since Joe White’s death and since Steve McGarrett has been back to his Island. Despite all of his Five-O Ohana wanting to be there for him, he has asked them to all remain in Hawaii till he can come up with a solid plan of attack. The only person he has let in has been Catherine Rollins. She was his first call only hours after Joe White’s death. This is the month they spent together before Danny came to Montana to implement their plan to avenge Joe’s death. 
> 
> A lot of it was formulating a plan.. The rest was falling in love again...

 

Ever since he had watched Joe White, his commanding officer and the man that was like his second father die in his arms, he had been wanting one person, the one person that could help heal him, the one person that could help him be strong. His girl, his Catherine. Even though they weren't together and hadn't been for a while now, he had never stopped thinking of her as his girl. Sadly, even when he was with Lynn, he was always thinking about Catherine.

It was why in the end, their relationship ended because Lynn knew she would never be able to compete with Catherine and Steve didn't put up any kind of fight when she suggested they end it. He had always kept her at arms length, always waiting, always hoping even if he had tried to make steps to move on, he hadn't in his heart. It was always going to be Catherine, his heart would never stop loving her if he tried.

It was why he made the call to Catherine first and foremost only hours after Joe's death. She was close to him as well, and he knew she would do anything in her power to be there with him in his time of need. He was hurting, it felt just as bad as the day he heard his father being killed by Victor Hesse over the phone, but at least this time, he had the foresight to tell Joe things that he needed to say, things he had wished he had said to his own father but never got the chance to while he was still alive.

It had been a feat but Steve had finally made it back to the ranch with both horses and Joe's body. He couldn't just leave him there. His body was sore and aching and what he wouldn't give for a hot shower right at that moment but he knew he needed to secure the perimeter, make sure that no one else had gotten onto the property and into the ranch. The mess that was everywhere, the damage done to the ranch.. It was all he could not to be sick to his stomach as he surveyed the place, making sure that no one else was there with him.

Getting rid of the bodies of the men that tried to kill him and had managed to kill his SEAL buddies and Joe was easy.. He took them out back and burnt their bodies to ash.. He didn't care about these men.. He wanted to cut off the head, He wasn't in Hawaii, he was not an office of the law in this state and his badge wouldn't give him special treatment here. If anything, the law may even put him under arrest as he was the only survivor of this terrible blood bath.

Laying his SEAL buddy and Joe White to rest, that was going to be harder, and much more emotional. He wasn't even sure what the man would have wanted to do with his remains, so he had moved them both to one of the many barns on the ranch and covered them with sheets for now, not quite sure what to do or who to call. Maybe Catherine could give him some thoughts, he wasn't thinking clearly right now.

Once he was back inside, he sighed, running his hands though his short hair, the bile rising up in his throat looking upon the mess that the bullets had made, the damage it had caused but nothing wanting to come out, the tears threatening to spill, but not quite ready to fall. Just as he was deciding what to do next or where to go from here, and if he should call Danny, he heard a noise out front.

A car pulling into the driveway of the ranch, Steve pulling out his gun, and crouching down near a window close to the door, not daring to look, too exhausted to think about the possibility of needing to fight for his life again. It was too much so soon, he didn't know how much fight he had left in him but then, just when he was preparing for a fight, his gun cocked, he heard her voice..

His breath was nearly taken away from him as he heard her say his name in a low voice, Before he even realized what he was doing, he was getting to his feet and holstering his gun, walking to the door and unlocking it, his eyes filled with tears. He had told her over the phone that Joe was gone and where he was, but not a lot else apart from Greer being involved. Seeing Catherine there, it was the most amazing feeling to him.

Though he had been involved with Greer as a friends with benefits situation, he had never trusted her enough to let her into his heart the way he had Catherine, and though Catherine had unintentionally done things that had hurt him, she had never meant any of it. Greer on the other hand had orchestrated all of this and though he had never had any true romantic feelings for her, he was still hurt that a woman he had let into his bed had betrayed him this way and that betrayal had led to the death of his second father and his other SEAL buddies.

Once he had opened the door, the first thing he observed was her scent.. It was just as it always was, that scent that was uniquely hers that always made him aware she was there even if he couldn't see her. Feeling her arms wrap around him, he couldn't hold it in anymore. He was beyond exhausted, having not slept now in over thirty six hours, and he broke down in her arms.

Reacting to her embrace, his own his arms pulling her closer to him, squeezing her a little, burying his head in her shoulder, the tears flowing openly now as he spoke, his voice shaking and slightly muffled "Cath.. He's gone.. We watched the sunset together as he died in my arms and there was nothing I could do.. I tried to save him, but I couldn't". It was like going through those moments when he learnt his mother died, what he now knows as a lie and again when his father was killed by Victor Hesse.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the amazing feedback so far. I am so happy that this has been well received. All your encouraging feedback has made me so excited to continue this so I decided I couldn't wait a week to post another chapter.
> 
> At the moment, I don't have a big game plan on this, so it is just going to be what comes into my head and heart at the time I write out the chapter, but I am going to try to plan it out a little bit if I can get organised so I know where I am going and when I need to press the fast forward button a bit.
> 
> Steve might be a bit ooc here when he burns the bodies of the bad guys and doesn't call the local law enforcement, but I figure, we finally see the Navy SEAL side of him we aren't used to when he is torturing Omar's lawyer so why not show him as a man that isn't thinking like a cop and thinking more like a grieving son who wants answers and to avenge his second father's death.
> 
> I don't know about anyone else's thoughts on Greer but my thoughts is she wanted to be the woman that tamed Steve McGarrett into submission and is jealous of his relationship with Catherine. My thoughts are once he began to like Catherine in a romantic way, he stopped his little trysts with Greer and that made her jealous and part of why she outed Steve and his team was for revenge on that.
> 
> I have received feedback on including flashbacks particularly with Steve and Catherine's first date and so I am thinking I will include that. If you are all happy with flash backs, It may become something I do include throughout the story as well.


	3. ʻO ka mea hiki ke ho'ōla i nāʻeha a pau (The one that can heal all wounds)

 

The man before her was a broken man. It was clear to her that losing Joe White was painful and heartbreaking. She had seen that look on him before, the vacant staring off into space and not really there with her before when she finally got time off to see him and be with him after Freddie Hart and his own father’s deaths. In that moment, Catherine knew in her heart that she was still very much in love with the man in front of her. She would do anything to stop the hurt and to put the pieces of his shattered self back together again. 

Hearing the words tumble from his lips, the shakiness of his voice as he spoke, it haunted her. She knew he felt guilty for his death, just as she too had felt guilt when Billy Harrington had been killed on only their second job together after he had hired her for his private security firm. “I am so sorry Steve”, her own broken voice matched his own for she felt just as broken about losing Joe as he was. He was just as much family to her as he was to Steve, so it was heart breaking to know that he was gone and wouldn’t be coming  home anymore. 

She let him hold her for as long as he needed to when she finally after what felt like hours when it would have been only minutes let her go somewhat reluctantly and looked around at the ranch, sighing softly at what she was looking at. It was in no way the same shape that she had last seen it in, and it was upsetting and at the same time disturbing to see the destruction and damage, knowing that Steve and Joe had to fight their way out of the home that Joe had created for himself. 

Once she had surveyed the room, she looked once more at Steve, seeing the many cuts, abrasions and bruises on his face and arms, her hand resting on his cheek as she checked out the worst of them, a bigger cut on the right side of his forehead that had stopped bleeding for now, but she knew it was big enough that it would most likely require the use of stitches. As usual, she could sense he wanted to pull his face away from being examined this close, but she kept her hand on his cheek, gently moving his face in her direction so she could speak. 

“We need to get these looked at and cleaned up properly Steve, and before you go ahead and tell me that you are fine, I am here to tell you to stop being so stubborn and let me fix these up”. Her voice was filled only with love and concern and she knew him so well that she already had an answer to what she knew he would say in response to her wanting to help him. She heard him sigh softly the way he always did which was through his nose, which was so enduring to her and nod his head, “Okay Cat” she heard him say in a low voice, resigning the fact that she wouldn’t take anything else for an answer. 

If this was any other moment, she would have had him pressed against the wall, kissing him senseless hearing him call her that. Usually it was Catherine or Cath, but so many people called her either one, however in all of her life, it had been only Steve that ever called her Cat, the same way that she was the only one to use the nickname Sailor to him. It was their thing, instead of calling each other baby or honey or any of those other usual sweet nauseating nicknames people tended to call their other halves, this was just something that was their’s. 

However she was fully aware of the moment she was in and that thought was not appropriate she then found herself in full protective girlfriend mode instead even though technically she wasn’t his girlfriend, she also had to remind herself that he had Lynn back on the island, not aware of the fact she had broken up with him and take care of him right now. It was clear to her that he had not slept in days, and maybe not even eaten much either, he certainly hadn’t showered either, though not that changed anything. 

Moving her hand from his cheek down his arm, tugging on his hand, she began to lead the way through the mess and debris to the bedroom that she and Steve always slept in whenever they stayed over at the ranch. It had an en-suite bathroom and from remembering the last time she stayed here which felt like eons ago, she knew that Joe was like a boy scout and was always prepared, keeping a first aid kit in all of the ranch’s bathrooms. As they walked into the bedroom, she heard herself say“Sit”, it came out a little more commanding then she had first anticipated at first but it did the trick, Steve sat down on the edge of the bed while she continued on to the bathroom to get the kit. 

While in there, she took the time to take a moment for herself, the tears nearly welling up in her own eyes. She hadn’t given herself time to mourn yet, as soon as Steve had said those words, she had pushed everything to the back of her mind to work on getting herself to Montana as soon as she could, It had been a full seventy two hours before she had been able to leave her current case with the CIA, there had to be briefings and handovers to the Agent who was taking over her case, then she had to go back to her hotel where she was staying in Washington to pack and book a flight which left a full twelve hours later. 

It had seemed every five minutes on the flight from Washington, she was checking her watch, hoping there wasn’t any further delays. It had been a very long hour and a half flight with some couple arguing in front of her and a little obnoxious kid behind her that kept kicking at her seat, and then another hour drive to the ranch so she hadn’t had time to stop and let herself mourn the death of such a wonderful man, she had just been intent on getting to Steve and making sure that he was taken care of. That was her number one priority

Just as the tears were about to fall, she heard Steve’s voice calling for her. Realizing she was taking too much time, she wiped away the tears quickly hoping that her eyes didn’t betray her, took a deep breath in and out, pulled the first aid kit out and called back to him, “I’ll be out in a second Steve”. She needed a moment to collect herself and calm down. As much as she was hurting herself, and wanted to hide away from the world too, she needed to be strong for Steve. Though they both had known Billy and Catherine knew that he had been close to him, Steve had been the strong one when Billy died, had been there for Cath and now she wanted to be strong for him in his time of need. 

Taking another breath in, she looked at her reflection in the mirror and steeling herself to put her own emotions to the side for now and look after her Sailor, She could do this. Out of everyone else he could have called, he called her, and that alone gave her the courage she needed. She knew that no matter what was going to happen next, she would ride this out with him and let him lead. Anywhere he led, she would follow. She would follow that man anywhere and everywhere. Putting on a brave face, she picked up the first aid kit and walked into the bedroom, smiling softly when she saw he had moved to a more comfortable position, sitting up against the head rest, his eyes closed and for a moment she was hesitant to arouse him from his slumber if he indeed was asleep. 

Instead of rousing him, she just moved onto the vacant side of the bed and sat next to him, the first aid kit laying on the bed, hearing the soft change in breathing pattern that told her he was indeed asleep. She couldn’t wake him up, he needed his sleep so she just changed position to  lay beside him and before she knew it, her own eyes were fluttering to a close , the stress and tension of the last three days taking a toll on her own body and she fell asleep beside him, her head falling onto his chest, his soft breathing and movement of his chest lulling her to sleep. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes: 
> 
> Let me just start by saying you are all amazing. I appreciate you all so much and am so happy to hear that you are all excited with this story. I really love that there are so many McRoll shippers out there that want to see this story play out. The next few chapters I think will be Catherine checking Steve’s injuries out and making sure he is okay physically and then organizing a full Navy funeral service for both Joe and his other Navy SEAL buddy. I need to go back and watch that episode again to get the name of that SEAL that was at the ranch with them as I have forgotten or if one of you remember it, you can always remind me as well. I hope you really enjoy this chapter just as much.


	4.  meʻoe a hiki i ka hopena (With you till the end)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wakes up bright and early and talks to Catherine about thing, almost putting him into a panic when Cath finds a way to calm him and put him at ease.

 

 

No matter where he went or who he was with, you could always guarantee that Steve McGarrett would wake at around five am in the morning, nearly on the dot and without some kind of sophisticated expensive alarm clock. So many years in the Navy had conditioned him for waking up early and if he was honest with himself, he quite liked it. It was nice to get a head start on the day, and feeling like you were one of the few that were awake at that time, It was a feeling he just couldn’t describe, but it felt right as well. 

If he was in Hawaii, he would have gotten up to go for an early morning swim, but he knew exactly where he was, and that there were no beaches close to where he was staying, so rather then going for a swim, he thought he might go tend to some of the animals Joe had on the ranch.  The horses had been rattled by the events of the past few days and hadn’t been the same since Joe was killed. If it was possible for horses to mourn, he was sure that is what they were doing. 

The feel of the bed moving slightly and a body moving towards him, arms wrapping around him startled him a little and his eyes shot open, his arm already reaching for his weapon, heart racing a little at the perceived threat when he saw the look of concern on Catherine’s face, and he settled back down in relief, letting out a bit sigh, his heart trying to settle back down to it’s normal rhythm. “I’m sorry Steve, I didn’t mean to startle you”, came her soft voice, lowered then it’s usual tone. Both of them having served in the Navy knew it was just a natural reaction and couldn’t be helped at all. 

Sitting up a little more on the bed, though he was also still half lying down, back resting against the bed head, Steve ran his hands over his face in an attempt to wake himself up a bit more, “It’s fine Cath, Don’t worry about it”, came his answer, his head turning to his side to gaze into her eyes, smiling softly when he took in her disheveled appearance, her hair which was sticking out all over the place, his tongue half poking out of his mouth, the way he always does when he is about to playfully tease her, “I like the”, he pointed to his own hair as he spoke, twirling his finger around a bit as he spoke, “Uhh hair style you got going on there Rollins, hope you packed a brush cause I am sure Joe doesn’t have any lying around here”. 

Tilting her head and scowling at him playfully, she ran her hands through her hair, trying to get some of the knots and tangles out with her fingers, “I’ll have you know that this hairstyle right here, it got me first place in the worst bad hair day competition back in high school”. She knew that right then, his head was turning,  Steve was trying to figure out if she was telling the truth or trying to pull a fast one on him. Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see a trophy or a medal”. 

Then instead of deciding to get up like he had originally planned, he decided to lay down further in the bed, and pulled Catherine down with him to lay on his chest, Catherine somehow automatically sensing that his mind was going somewhere more serious again, his arms wrapping around her slim body, having remembered every curve but at the same time forgotten how good it was to hold her in his arms. “What’s going on in that head of yours Sailor?” she questioned, feeling worry and concern for him, but at the same time knowing that he was strong and would be fine. 

Sighing softly, he let his own hands trace their way down to the small of her back, his fingers moving gently over her skin from under her shirt, “I don’t know what to do Catherine, about Joe and Tim I mean.. I’ve covered them up in one of the barns, Joe had a big walk in freezer in one of them where he used to keep all his perishable items, so they are in there for now, but I just.. I don’t know what to do.. Do I call the local cops out here and tell them what happened? That the guys that killed him got away even though I know they didn’t.. Do I call the Navy to arrange things, I don’t even know if he had a lawyer to handle his affairs Cath.. He was seeing this woman, I think Tim was married with two kids”. 

The more he spoke about it, the more he was getting panicked and it was bleeding through to his voice, getting shakier and higher in volume as he spoke, his chest rising and falling more quickly. It was all to much for him to deal with, and extremely overwhelming to him. It was different being the one that had to report a crime rather then be the one to attend the scene. 

When his father was killed, he was given a full police funeral, so he hadn’t had to deal with this before as HPD had it all organised by the time he got back to Hawaii. Catherine noticed the tears welling in his eyes and could see he was on the verge of a panic attack, so she did the only thing she knew how. She took her hands and placed them on either side of his cheeks and leaned in, pressing her lips against his and gently kissed him, her eyes closing slowly.  

She might regret it later on, he might even hate her for it, but it was the only way to stop him from going down that rabbit hole. Just like Chicago always made everything better for her, She knew that her kisses would make him feel more at ease and calm and it seemed like every time before, it worked. His breathing evened out, heart beat steady and lips melting against her own and his arms pulling her in a little closer, before he pulled away slightly to look into her eyes. 

The way he was gazing into her eyes, it was like he was searching for something, searching for this to be genuine, and he was glad that she didn’t seem to be apologizing for the kiss or trying to downplay it’s meaning because it meant the world to him. “We’ll work this all out together Steve, I’m not going anywhere okay, I’ve got clearance from the CIA to take as much time off as I need so you don’t need to do any of this alone okay?, I’m with you till the end”. It was a line she would repeat more then once to him, but she would say it as many times as it took for him to believe her. 

Her words were enough to have his heart skip a beat, knowing she was taking time off from the CIA to be here with him. He felt he mattered, that for once she was giving him priority over everything else that was going on in her life. A soft sigh and a nod was all she needed, though he smiled once more at her, “We’re gonna find them, and take them down.. Joe deserves that much”. 

Watching him closely, she knew that he wouldn’t rest till the people responsible for this were caught, nodding her own head, she was in full agreement on that one, “He sure does.. Look Steve I don’t know if Joe ever told you this, but he always told me he saw you as his son, and that you always made him proud even when you were questioning his own decisions”. 

Sitting up a little, feeling slightly more awake, though she knew if she had kept lying down, she would fall asleep once more,  she eyed off those cuts and abrasions, “And now that you seem to be wide awake, let me take a look at those and then you can go wash up and have a shower.. and while you’re doing that, I’ll go make some coffee and breakfast, how does that sound Sailor?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so overwhelmed with everyone’s positive comments, excitement and encouragement on this story. I usually don’t update stories this often, but it is all of your encouragement that is pushing me along to keep it going so I owe it all to you wonderful people. I also hope you like the kiss I added in as well. I couldn’t leave you all hanging too much without a McRoll kiss even if it was only short and sweet for now. 


	5. Me ke aloha aloha  (With tender loving care)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine stitches Steve's cut and for the first time they have a talk about how they feel.

 

This lifestyle was starting to wear Catherine down, you could never have any kind of semblance of a life with the CIA, even the Navy was better for having a life and a career then the CIA. When you are in with an agency like the CIA, you don’t have much of a life at all and she was starting to tire of it and ready to settle down and set down some roots of her own, make a home and a life for herself, with Steve if he ever would have her back, still needing to ask the question about Lynn and if she would be okay with him being here with Catherine, not aware they were no longer together. 

Though she had been committed to the cause, it wasn’t her decision to join up to the CIA. She had been recruited because it was the only way to stop Steve from falling into further trouble with the agency. It was around the time just after the CIA had attempted to kill Steve with the bomb in the building where Steve and Danny were trapped. It was the only way to keep Steve and the rest of five-o safe because if she hadn’t agreed to it, they were going to take down five-o and make sure Steve would never be a bother to them again. 

It was one reason why she loathed the lifestyle because she was unable to have any kind of meaningful friendships or relationships. You were cut off from the world and not even allowed to say what you did for a living to anyone at all. The day she had gone to speak to Steve about her mother and had met Lynn, she had tried not to feel hurt. After all he did say to her he wasn’t going to wait for her, but still it hurt to see him moving on and knowing that till the day she retired, she wasn’t able to settle down with anyone, least of all the one man that she still so desperately loved and wanted more than anything in the world. 

Now, the agency didn’t really like her going off mission to be with a man that had tried to bring them down, but they knew what a great asset Catherine was, so they let her go, but she had strict orders to be back for her next mission as soon as this was over. What the agency didn’t know yet was that Catherine had been planning her resignation letter for a while now. She wanted out, even if Steve was taken and she knew she couldn’t be with him anymore, she realized it was no way to live a life at all. She was ready to go home. 

Smiling softly when he agreed with her plan, she helped him sit up a little and took the first aid kit and settled herself in his lap so that she could get a better look at his face. “Well, most of them look  like they are healing nicely, but I do still think this one on your forehead needs stitches Steve”. Sighing, he nodded, trying to not let the fact she was sitting in his lap affect his focus, but it was hard when all he wanted to do was hold her, wrap his arms around her and never let her go. “I kind of figured it would need some, how many do you think?” Looking once again and trying to concentrate, “Maybe three or four I think should do it”. 

Gathering the items she would need, she watched him as she began to work, rubbing some alcohol wipes over the cut to clean it and sterilize it, then began to get to work, “I’ll try to be gentle”, she was apologetic when she saw him wince a little, but aside from that, he was stoic, never once complaining at all about the pain. As she worked, Steve decided to try to fish for details on her love life, “So, there anybody special in your life? Any man that might need the Commander McGarrett special touch from?”, he didn’t want to feel jealous but even asking that question, it made his stomach feel sick at the possible answer she might give, though he almost breathed a sigh  of relief when she answered, “Honestly, I don’t, I’m free as a bird, It’s hard to maintain a relationship when you are always on the go and never in one place. How about you? How are you and Lynn going?”

This was her in, her heart was racing as she said those words, and she felt a slightly nauseous as well. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know how they were, but at the same time, she needed to know if there was any chance of the two of them rekindling their relationship. She focused on stitching Steve’s cut up and took a slow breath in and out to cover her anxiety over what his answer would be. “Actually, Lynn broke up with me.. It was never anything really serious, for me anyway. I know Lynn wanted us to be more serious, but I just.. I couldn’t do it, and to be honest, I think Lynn knew that she was never going to compare to you, I don’t think she wanted to be second choice anymore”. 

There, the words he had been waiting forever to say. He didn’t want Catherine to feel bad for possibly contributing to his break up with Lynn, but he did want her to know that even when he had attempted to move on, he had not really moved on at all. He had made all the right moves, made all the right speeches about it, but when it came down to it, he never did. If anything, he still had the ring in his drawer at home in Hawaii. She was it for him, and he didn’t mind if she knew that this time, even if he couldn’t be with her while she was in the CIA, all the stuff he sprouted about not being able to wait.. Seeing her here with him now, fixing up his cut, being there to help him avenge Joe’s death, he was more then willing to wait now for as long as it took. 

“Wow, I’d offer my condolences but it doesn’t seem like you are all that broken up about it”, her face had gone red at his words, and she tied to hide her face for a moment, turning her head to the side, though Steve had used his hand to move her head back he was looking into her eyes, gazing into them for a moment before he answered. “No, I’m not, To be honest, I am fairly certain that I was on the rebound.. Elle Clayton, a friend of my father had set us up and I didn’t want to disappoint either of them, and it was nice for a while, but it’s not who I wanted”. Feeling her cheeks heating up even more, she bit her lip nervously, breathing in deeply when she asked the next question teasingly, but also genuinely as well as she settled herself further in his lap. “And who do you want Sailor?” 

Chuckling a little with a soft smirk on his face, his hands moved to move the hair from her face, and then settled onto either side of her cheeks, “I think you already know the answer to that one Cat.. It’s you.. It’s always been you Cat”. His voice was shaking a little at those words, and he leaned in, pressing his lips to hers, this time being the one to initiate the kiss, smiling against her lips when he felt her kissing back. There was a part of him that just knew that this was going to end in heartache for the both of them again, but this was the most honest he had been with her about anything and this conversation was long overdue, and he just knew that he had to enjoy the time he had with her while he could before something took one of them away from the other. 

There was always heat behind their kisses, always passion and fire and this was no different. It only further added fuel her feelings for Steve even more, slowly igniting them into a beautiful fire. Pulling away just a little to check on his stitches, she smiled softly, “It’s always been you too Steve”, then softly declaring “All done”, as she studied her handiwork and then put on a sterile water proof dressing over it, then looking around her face to see if he needed anymore stitches, “I think you’re good to go shower now”. She made a move to get off his lap when she felt his arm snaking around her waist and pulling her closer. “You got two choices, you could go make breakfast and start the coffee, or”, he whispered teasingly, “You could join me in the shower..”, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly, “I mean only if you wanted to of course”. 

While his heart was breaking for Joe, it was also singing for Catherine. He was having so many conflicting emotions right now, going from being happy in Catherine’s presence to nearly in tears when he remembered that Joe wouldn’t be here to ever know this next chapter in this love story with Catherine. His head kept telling him not to go there yet, that it was too soon and that he was too broken and in too much pain over Joe’s death to make any kind of rational decision, but his heart and his body were both telling him to give in and let her in. Here she was, right here and wanting to do anything to help him and be there for him, so why not just ride it out till the end and enjoy the time that he had with her here alone without the many distractions that come from being the team leader and Commander of five-o. 

Tilting her head to one side, she let out a playful giggle, pretending to seriously contemplate her choices, “Well, I am very hungry and you know how hangry I get when I have no food in me, but on the other side... I don’t think I have showered since leaving the hotel where I was staying so I might be best to just hijack your shower with you”. She leaned in for one more kiss, but this time did slide over his lap, her feet making contact with the floorboards and then she was standing up, holding her hand out for him to take to help him up. “Okay, Come on Commander, let’s go shower, eat, get some coffee in our systems and then we can talk about Joe and Tim and make a list of what needs to be done”. Though things were still a little up in their air regarding their relationship, Catherine felt a lot happier knowing they both had finally said what they should have said all those years ago. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you all love this chapter as much as I do. I’m trying to keep things moving ahead with Joe and the avenging his death, but these first several chapters are going to cover a lot of ground on their relationship because I don’t want them to beat around the bush anymore and keep silent on their feelings. 
> 
> I also don’t want them to just put aside their feelings because they feel they have a job to do or out of respect for Joe because we all know that Joe wanted them to be together and would have been happy to be looking down from heaven at them and be happy to see her there in Montana with him. I also wanted to get the Lynn issue out of the way early so that Catherine knows exactly where she stands with Steve. 
> 
> Obviously we have no way of knowing what went down in the in that episode that wasn’t shown so this is just my interpretation of it but the way I have described Catherine joining the CIA, I think it makes sense in a way because I don’t think she would have ever willingly just left again unless she was under specific orders. If she wanted to leave after Kono’s wedding, I think she wouldn’t have been as devastated as she was when she was in the car crying.


	6. ʻO kēia mau lima oʻu  (These arms of mine)

 

Taking her hand, he smiled softly and let her help him stand up, wrapping his arms around her once he was on two feet and just held her for a moment, feeling perfectly happy and content to just stand there where they were and forget about the world for a while. It was nice, no one to interrupt them, no cases to attend, nowhere to be except right here where they were. Once he pulled away slightly, he gazed into her eyes, “Thank you Catherine”, his voice was low, almost a whisper but she heard him none the less. 

“Thank you for what Steve?”, she questioned, her facial expression changing to someone confusion and amusement. In her mind, she didn’t need to be thanked for anything, it was always going to be a given that she would be there for him. “Thank you for being here with me Cath, for being you, for loving me all this time, for having my back every time, for everything you have given me”. Leaning in to him, she kissed him softly and chuckled, “You don’t have to thank me because I’d do it all again in a heart beat but you are welcome”. 

Having gotten that off his shoulders, he had felt so much better, She had to know it was her, and hopefully know that cemented it in her mind that he wasn’t going anywhere. He would wait for her and go anywhere for her, there was nothing else he wanted more in his life then to be with her. There was still something going on though that she wasn’t telling him about, he wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew this time that he needed to wait till she was ready to tell him about it. 

It was the way she left after Kono’s wedding, He was really starting to believe that she was going to stay and settle down there, maybe come back to five-o, have all their family around them when they finally got married, there had been something she had been holding back that day, and he wasn’t entirely sure that he believed what she said about leaving. He could get it and understand it, but he didn’t feel like that was the entirety of the story. There had to be more and he hoped one day she might share that with him. 

While he had been heartbroken at the way she left just before he was about to propose to her, he had found that though he hadn’t moved on with a new woman, he had moved on from that situation. He had been angry and upset for the longest time, but she always came when she needed him, always was there for him and even made him aware of a situation where his mother needed rescuing, and he had gotten to the point where he had no longer wanted to be angry over it. Angry wasn’t an emotion he dealt well with at all. 

Even when he was with Lynn, he had constantly thought about Catherine, it was just the little things he missed, the smell of her perfume, the way she had that smile that was reserved just for him, how she always watched him work on his Dad’s car, and how even though he always would worry, he knew she could take care of herself, it was the first big difference he noticed with Lynn right off the bat on their first date and though he knew most women were like Lynn was that day, he missed having a strong woman like that around him. A woman that knew her way around weapons and wasn’t afraid to use one. 

Following her into the bathroom, he felt a little more confident and a little more himself. Danny was right, he was the best version of himself whenever she was around him, Thinking of Danny, once he had showered and eaten, he knew he needed to call him and let him know that he was fine. The man had been trying to call and text the last few days but Steve had just not been in the right frame of mind to answer him, but now he was feeling a bit better so he decided he would let the guys know what was going on, but not to come out yet because he didn’t feel it was safe yet for all of five-o to be there, plus he needed Danny and Lou to run five-o while he was gone. 

As he walked into the bathroom, she had just turned on the water, and had her hand under the tap waiting for it to warm up, he stood behind her and kissed her neck, reaching down to lift her shirt up over her head before resuming his kisses along her neck and shoulder blade. For some people, it might seem strange to go from not seeing someone in a long time to being more intimate with each other, but that is how Steve and Cath always ran, they always were going months without seeing each other only to be back in each other’s arms and not wanting to let go of the other. “How’s the water?”, whispering against her neck, his hands now moving along to her back to unclasp her bra, letting it fall to the floor unnoticed by the two of them. 

Closing her eyes, and letting him undress her, she smiled softly, her skin tingling with delight at his lips on her neck and shoulder blade, taking in a breath to control her shaky voice, “It’s perfect Sailor”, her voice was huskier then usual, her chest rising and falling much quicker when his hands moved down to her jeans, unbuttoning and then his fingers tracing along her stomach before unzipping the zipper, hands moving to either side of her hips, fingers splayed out to push her jeans down her hips and then let them slide to the floor of the bathroom, pooling at her feet. “I know what you are doing there Sailor”, she giggled, turning her self around to face him, his eyebrows raised in question, “Mmm and is it working Cat?”, fully away that she was standing here in front of him with nothing but her underwear. 

Not able to tear his eyes away from the beautiful figure in front of him, he let her do the same with his clothes, sighing softly at the way her fingers danced around at the hem of his t-shirt, her eyes looking into his when she began to lift the shirt up, his arms automatically going up beside his head to allow the shirt to be pulled over his arms and head, tossing the t-shirt to the floor, and then making quick work of his pants, unbuckling his belt, then unbuttoning the button and pulling the zipper down on his pants, his heart racing when she pressed her body close to his and kissed him, her hands then pushing his pants and briefs off in one go, “Well, I’d say about as good as it is working for you handsome”, smirking when she took a look down, then back up at him. 

Letting out a soft laugh, he shook his head in amusement, letting his fingers slip into the sides of her underwear and tugged on them, pulling them down in one quick movement, then without saying another thing, guiding her backwards into the shower, following her and then closing the shower door once they were both inside, “Well played Rollins, very well played”, he answered her, pressing her back into the wall of the shower, his lips on hers once more, the spray of the hot water on his back slightly beginning to ease any aches and pains he had felt, moaning softly, feeling the most relaxed he had in days. Her hands snaking around his neck, she let out a soft giggle, “Well, I know all your moves Commander, so don’t you forget it”. 

How was it that this woman could make him laugh and smile as though nothing was wrong even though his heart was still very much in a thousand broken pieces. There was a part of him that did feel the guilt at feeling relatively normal so soon after it all happened, but he had to stop that part of his brain from working because the more it did, the more he knew Joe and even his father John would be chastising him for even thinking that way at all. Life did go on despite that you might not want it too and though it felt wrong and there was guilt eating away at you, you still had to go on being normal like you normally were, doing anything less was not a way to pay tribute to those that were gone that you valued. 

Watching him carefully, she gently tapped his cheek with her hand, seeing that expression on his face that told her he had gone off somewhere else. It was a habit that she had always know about him, he only did that when he was either really focused on a case or when he was hurting and stewing about something that he really shouldn’t be worried about at all. “Penny for your thoughts?”, she asked softly, the water still as hot as it was when they first got in. Thank god for Joe and his ever never ending hot water system. “Huh?”, he asked, creasing his brow, not aware he had been focused somewhere else. “ I said, what you thinking about there Sailor?” If she could read minds, she knew what he was thinking. It was exactly how she felt when Billy died, she wasn’t sure if she could ever do normal again, she wasn’t sure how even though she had wanted to. 

Sighing softly, he shook his head to clear his mind and try to focus on the fact that he had Catherine all alone in this shower, “It’s nothing Cath, I’m good”. He didn’t want to ruin the mood by talking about this now, maybe one day when he was ready to he would, but for now, he just wanted to spend this time with Catherine. She was about to question him when all of a sudden she felt herself being gently tugged her forward, he let her stand under the direct spray of the water, and then he got the shampoo out, and put some on the palm of his hand, then applying it over her hair, slowly washing her hair, massaging the shampoo in and then letting her rinse it off, doing the same with his own short hair as well. 

Once their hair was washed, they then took turns washing each other, Catherine shuddering at his touch every time his fingers danced over her naked wet skin, both of them taking their time, feeling in no rush at all, neither of them really had anywhere else to be and no one else to answer to right now, so they had all the time in the world for each other, then finally Steve picked her tiny frame up, lining her body up with his, looking into her eyes for any sign that she didn’t want this and when he got nothing but reassurance and love in her eyes, he gently pushed her back up against the wall again, both of their eyes fluttering to a close, arms wrapped around each other as they slowly began to make love. 

No matter how long it had been since they had been intimate with each other, no matter how many years had passed, it always felt right, and it always felt like coming back home, the way their bodies slotted perfectly against each other like they were tailor made for each other, no words needed to be spoken, both of them clinging to the other, needing each other, Steve especially needing to relieve the tension he had been feeling since his attacker had made an attempt on his life back on Oahu. For the first time since then, he felt relaxed, and at ease.. Most importantly, he felt safe and loved here with Catherine in his arms, and that was all he needed right now. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited to share this chapter with you all, I was thinking of you all as I wrote it knowing it would all get your hearts racing and feels going. I want to once again thank you all for your ongoing support and encouragement. It is because of you all that I have continued to find the motivation to keep this story going and your wonderful reviews that keep pushing me to get out a new chapter as quickly as I can. 
> 
> I know many people might think a scene like this is too soon, and if it was a new love interest, the yes, I would agree, but this is Steve and Cath, and I felt like to them it would feel similar to how they used to be when they only saw each other sporadically. 


	7. E lilo wau i hale hoʻomalu  (I’ll be your shelter)

Walking back into the bedroom once he had dried off and wrapped his towel around his waist, Steve though he still felt saddened and helpless over Joe’s death, he felt a little more relaxed and calm. He wasn’t sure if he could think of being happy quite yet, but it was only because every time he thought of himself being happy, he felt a huge surge of guilt hit him right in the gut and he knew that emotion was of no use to him right now. 

“How are you feeling now Sailor?”, Catherine jolted him out of his thoughts and he turned to face her, watching as she dried her hair off, a towel wrapped securely around her chest and he couldn’t help but pull her a little closer to him, kissing her lips softly, “Much better, I feel human again”. It had been days since he had a good shower and it was true, a hot shower could make you feel a lot better when you were either unwell or just not feeling yourself. 

Smiling softly, she kissed him back, pulling back so she could start to get dressed, “I’m glad to hear that... I don’t about you but I am starving.. I figured I’d get dressed, take a look in the kitchen to see what I can sort out for breakfast”. Reaching for her bag, she began to pull out some clothes and started to dress, “And while I am doing that, I think you owe it to Danny to call him. We both know how he gets, for all we know, he is starting to map out some kind of plan to rescue you”. 

Sighing softly, he nodded his head in silence.. He knew this needed to be done, he couldn’t put it off any longer, Danny deserved to know what was going on as did they all and Catherine was right, He wouldn’t put it past Danny to be planning some kind of rescue mission right this very moment. “I know..”, Letting out his breath, he sighed again, I’ll call him”. Catherine finished getting dressed and before she walked out of the bedroom, she kissed him lightly on the lips, patting his shoulder as she walked past him. 

Grabbing his own bag, he pulled out a fresh pair of clothes and sighed softly, the memories of what he and Catherine had been doing in the shower still on his mind, a small smile on his face At some point, they needed to have a talk about the future.. He had already laid his cards out on the table and finally told her how he felt, he needed her to know that he was looking towards a future with her, that he wanted to be married to her and have a family with her, that he wanted to give Joan some cousins to play with and Mary and Danny a niece or nephew or two to spoil the same way he did with their children. 

Being intimate with Catherine always was so much more about just pleasure, It was craving a connection and being able to feel close to her. It is why he didn’t sleep around if he wasn’t dating a woman, he might have been known by people like Greer as a commitment phobic but it was his issues with his mother that had always led him to pull back from things such as one night stands or short little meaningless flings. Though at the time of their mother’s /fake/ death, he knew how much it hurt their father to have to live without their mother and he had never re-married or even gotten close to falling for another woman. 

The way she felt in his arms and how he remembered every single curve of her body, almost every little scar she had, how her body trembled when he touched her, her breathing becoming uneven at his soft kisses, the soft moans, the way she told him she loved him, it’s something he had missed but had never forgotten. If they had time, he wanted to show her how much he loved her, wanted to take his time enjoying every moment and record it all in his head so that it could hold him over for the nights he didn’t have her in his arms and in his bed. 

Once he was dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, he quickly made the bed that he and Catherine had slept in the night before, They had started on top of the covers, but without even remembering how, they had managed to crawl under the covers at some stage throughout the night. Reaching for his phone which had been on charge, he sighed softly. This was the phone call he didn’t want to have to make.. He didn’t want to have to tell Danny that Joe was gone, that he couldn’t protect him, that it should have been him instead, but he remembered Catherine’s words.. 

He needed to know, Danny Williams had been his partner of nine years and though their relationship had it’s ups and downs, it was all mainly in good fun, the carguments they have, he knows it doesn’t truly define their friendship. It was how they cared for each other, Steve knew that Danny only got upset because he doesn’t want to lose Steve due to something stupid that could have been avoided, it was in the way they showed their loyalty, How Steve had gone to deal with Reyes with Danny rather then letting him go alone, how he cared for Grace and Charlie like they were his own kids. 

It was how time and time again, both of them through their actions showed what the other meant to them, and it was how they both supported each other’s relationships regardless of who it was with. Though Steve knew Danny was concerned about Catherine hurting him again, he respected the fact that Steve still was in love with her, and even though all the issues that Danny and Rachel had gone through all those years, Steve recognized and respected that Danny was still in love with his ex wife as well. It was those little things, not having to voice their concerns, but how they showed it that mattered. 

Looking at his watch, he noticed it was now six thirty in the morning, he did a quick calculation and realized it would be about nine thirty in Hawaii, so before he had a chance to back out of this, he looked through his list of favorite contacts and pushed the second name that showed up as /Danno/ , then put it up to his ear to, waiting for Danny to answer his call. While he was on his call, Catherine had managed to find some breakfast type foods to make for their breakfast and some coffee as well. She had started the coffee pot and began to cook some bacon, eggs and toast for them. 

As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t bring herself to listen in to his call. She knew that he needed his privacy while he made this call to Danny and she was intending to respect his wishes with that, though as she was making breakfast and sorting out the expensive looking state of the art coffee pot that Joe had purchased, she briefly thought about how the call might go down, something along the lines of Danny insisting to come out and do whatever he needed to help Steve get through this and plan his attack on the man that did this to Joe and his other SEAL buddies, and Steve insisting he stay back home in Hawaii because five-o needed a leader while Steve was away and his children needed their father. 

She did wonder if Steve would mention to Danny that she was there.. She knew how Danny felt when she had taken off and though she knew he didn’t hate her, Catherine also knew that Danny was unsure where her priorities were and if he could trust her not to hurt the super SEAL again like she had in the past. She also knew deep down that Danny had been upset at her leaving for his own reasons as well, She had become like a sister to him and an Aunt to Grace, and though she knew about Charlie, she really hadn’t had a chance to bond with him like she had done with Grace and he had been upset at losing her as well so though she knew he wanted to protect Steve, it was also about protecting himself and his family to be slightly wary when it came to Catherine. 

When breakfast was ready, she set the pine oak table for two and put down their plates and coffee mugs and then headed back into the bedroom to see if Steve was ready to eat, smiling softly as she stood just outside the doorway, she could sense that Steve was wrapping up the call with Danny, telling him to take care too and that he would call with more details a little later when he knew more, but also telling Danny to open an investigation and get five-o to do what they could on their end to track down anyone that could have been involved. 

Knocking slightly on the door, she smiled a little as he looked over at he as he hung the phone up, “Breakfast is ready when you are”. She didn’t linger, knowing he needed a few moments to himself to gather his thoughts about the phone call with Danny, walking back into the kitchen and sitting down to take a seat, sipping on her coffee knowing that Steve would come when he was ready and sure enough few moments later, he appeared at the table and sat down opposite her, not before leaning down and capturing her lips with his. “What was that for?”, she asked curiously before dipping her bacon in her poached egg and then taking a bite of it. “What? I can’t just kiss my girlfriend?”, he retorted back in a playful voice, not realizing at first what he had called her, not wanting to backtrack his words, but wanting to see if she noticed as well. 

Blushing a little at his words, she didn’t expect him to say that at all, but if she was honest, those words made her stomach flutter and her heart melt. She knew he meant those words even if he had said it in a playful tone and she really liked the idea of getting back on track with their relationship. It was just sad that they both had to have that realization moment after losing someone so important to them. She knew he was waiting to hear how she would respond so once she had swallowed her food, she smiled back, eyeing him confidently, “Well, long as I can just kiss my boyfriend anytime I want, then you are free to kiss your girlfriend anytime you want”. 

Smirking a little at those words, he had already put a mouthful of food in his mouth so he was unable to reply to her, though the sound of her saying he was her boyfriend meant the world to him. This was going to be one hell of a fight they were about to get themselves into, Danny Lou and the rest of five-o already getting into research mode and setting the ground work for such a huge undertaking, but he knew as long as he had Catherine beside him, he could do anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the continued encouragement and support on this story. I am sorry it has taken this long to update but it has been a busy week for me, I do hope this chapter has been worth the wait though. Your continued love and support on this story keeps me inspired to keep going. I am thinking of doing a separate one shot based on the phone call between Danny and Steve, let me know if you would want to read that? Also, would you rather me focus all my attention on Catherine and Steve or like to see short little scenes from Hawaii with the rest of the team? I don’t mind either way, I just like getting your feedback and input.


	8. hōʻikeʻike (Notification Detail)

Sighing softly to himself while he waited on hold to notify the Navy of Tim Cole and Joe White's deaths, thinking to himself that this was not what he wanted to be doing at all right this moment, but never the less, it had to be done. Both of these men had been given honorable discharges from the Navy and like Billy Harrington, he wanted both of these men to have a full Military Service to honor their memories and their service to their country.

Though Catherine had told him that she would do the notification and make the call, It was just something that Steve felt he needed to do himself. He still felt some responsibility towards their deaths seeing as how he was fairly sure at this point that it had been Greer that had sold him and his team out. It was hard to point the blame at anyone other then himself right now though he knew logically it was not his fault, but try to explain that one to his mind.

"Still on hold?", Catherine had been washing the breakfast dishes and had just about finished, hearing his frustrated sigh and had come over to him to calm him, resting her hand on his shoulder and leaning into his frame as he sat on the breakfast bar stool with all the relevant paperwork that he would need, Joe having told him several years ago where he kept all of his important documents . Having no family around him, Joe had given this information to John and the to Steve upon John's death.

Nodding his head, he glanced over at her, and sighed again, "It's been nearly ten minutes.. If it wasn't something that needed to be done, I'd have hung up by now, but doing that will just put me in the same position that I am in now later.. I would have thought that it would be a lot quicker to get through to the Military notification detail, but seems not". The hold music was nearly unbearable and his arm was starting to cramp from where he was holding the phone up to his ear. "Why don't you put it on speaker while you wait and then take it off once someone picks up".

Her suggestion was simple but yet also very welcome at the same time. He was tense and just not able to think of something so simple when his mind was focused on the task at hand.. He took the phone away from his ear and pressed the speaker button and laid the phone down on the counter while Catherine stood behind him to try to relieve some of the tenseness in his shoulders, giving him a gentle massage, wanting to do whatever she could to help her Sailor feel at ease as best as he could.

It felt like hours, but what was really only another five minutes before someone's voice came through on the phone and Steve immediately picked the phone up and took it off speaker before placing it back at his left ear, smiling softly at Catherine when she squeezed his shoulder and then left him to discuss what needed to be discussed in peace, knowing that it was hard enough as it was and he though he may want her around, he needed to do this part alone and that should really understand.

In the meantime whilst he was on the phone, Catherine headed outside to tend to the animals. The horses were still unsettled and out of sorts, though she was unsure why at this point.. They hadn't really had a proper discussion about just what had gone on and how it had all gone down.. She knew not to push till Steve was ready to talk it all out.. She hoped that he would talk to someone, she would prefer it to be herself but if not, then she would be happy if he even talked to Danny about it..

As she tended to the animals, she thought a lot about Hawaii and five-o. So much had changed within five-o since she had left the team to go overseas with the CIA.. Chin and Kono were both on the mainland which to be honest really surprised her. She thought for sure that both of them would stay close to home, however one was situated in San Francisco with his partner and his niece and the other was living in Las Vegas, both very different styles of living then what they were used to in Hawaii.

Then in their place came new comers Tani and Junior, When she had been on the island briefly a year ago to try to locate Asad she hadn't already been aware of the personal change, and had been saddened to hear that Chin and Kono were no longer on the island working with Steve and five-o. There had been a lot to get used to during that short visit, but it was good to know that despite Chin and Kono no longer being on his team, he still had a good team around had been nice to see Lou, Adam, Jerry and even Kami again, sadly she had missed Danny as he was on the mainland but from what she had seen so far, Tani seemed like she was on top of things and could get the job done..

She remembered what a joy it was to be introduced to the new members of five-o as "my other half". Though they weren't together at the time and she was very much aware that Steve was in a relationship with Lynn at the time, it meant a lot to hear him say that about her.. It was true, they were the other half of each other.. Always feeling complete when they were together and like something was missing whenever they were apart.. He would always be her soul mate in life and in love regardless where it was that life took them.

Getting alone time with Tani was one of the highlights of her time in Hawaii on this trip.. She didn't have to head off straight away, she had been working hard over the last six months to finally take down Asad so she had been given some time off to rest up and recover before her next assignment came up and she had chosen to stay on the island and spend time with her friends, making sure that she got Chin and Kono's contact information before she left so that she could get in touch with them..

That day when she was sitting alone on the beach and Tani had come to talk to her was a day she wouldn't really ever forget at all. She respected this woman and all she stood for, and she could see why Steve and Danny had actively pursued her to be on their team. She was a force to be reckoned with and similar in different ways to both herself and Kono.. Patting the horses after setting down some hay, she smiled as she recalled the memory, her mind wandering off.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still very overwhelmed to have received so much love, support and encouragement on this story. I thank you all so much for your kind words. It means a lot to me. I have finally gone back and re-watched this episode so the next few chapters will hopefully be a little more accurate in my writing. There is one thing that I am deciding to change up a bit.. The horses are owned by someone else in the episode, whereas in my version, they are actually Joe's horses.


	9. ōleloʻo ia (Talking it out)

**_~Flashback~_ **

**_Waikiki Beach_ **

“I’m not interrupting am I Catherine?”, Catherine turned at the voice, and smiled softly noticing one of Steve’s new team members Tani Rey standing beside her, the five-o badge shining in the late afternoon’s sunset, her gun holstered right near the badge.. She was surprised to see Tani, she hadn’t really had an opportunity to speak with Tani or Junior apart from when they were with the rest of the group having dinner which Catherine dutifully paid for. “No, not at all Tani, is there anything I can help you with?”

The young woman had seemed a little nervous and Catherine sensed that so she patted the sand beside her, inviting the young officer to sit beside her. As Tani sat, she breathed in deep, looking over at her, feeling a little nervous.. She and Junior had seen Catherine’s photographs which were still all over Steve’s desk in his office and once Steve and Catherine had left Kamakona’s to talk in private,  the rest of them, Adam, Lou, Jerry and even Kamakona all filled Tani and Junior in on just who Catherine was and why there was still so much sexual tension in the air. 

“Alright out with it”, Catherine’s voice was playful but she could feel the tension in the air, it was so thick you could cut a knife through it.. Looking a little surprised, “I um, I don’t know what you are talking about Catherine”. Tani stumbled over her words a little, feeling more nervous about this then she had when she had decided to talk to Catherine.. Since she had met Steve, she could sense there was something missing, something that he wasn’t sharing with her, and now she realized exactly what it was.. He didn’t talk about her but then again, he didn’t really talk about his love life at all with Tani. 

Raising her eyebrows, Catherine chuckled and turned her eyes to meet Tani’s, “I think you know exactly what I am talking about.. Did Steve put you up to this by any chance?”, Being here with Steve and five-o, it had made her miss what she had with Steve.. Did she ever want to leave, hell no, she had wanted to remain on the island with her man and seeing Kono and Adam getting married, she had thought about her own happy ending and wanting to settle down with Steve and get married.. Though the CIA had other thoughts on what she should be doing with her life and had forced her to lie to Steve about where she ws going and what she was doing. 

Holding up her hands, she shook her head quickly, “Noooo, No Steve didn’t put me up to anything.. Why do you think I am up to anything anyway?”, was her response waving her arms at the same time as saying no. She wanted to ask her why she left, she wasn’t sure if she would get an answer to that, but she also wanted to know if she still loved Steve because judging by the way he spoke and looked at Catherine at dinner when he thought everyone else was preoccupied with eating and other conversation, he clearly still had feelings for her. 

“You think the Navy didn’t train me to be observant? To know what is being said when there are no words being spoken at all?”, her words were playful once more but the undertone of her words were serious. She was well trained in reading people and though Tani was only a young officer, she too would one day have the experience to be able to do exactly as Catherine just did.. “Look, whatever you want to say to me, just please say it.. Don’t feel you need to beat around the bush for my or your own sake Tani”. 

Taking a breath in and nodding her head, she knew that she needed to get this off her chest, Steve had seemed so much happier just in the couple of days that Catherine had been here, in fact she had never seen him this happy from the time she first came in contact with Steve.. “Alright, here it is.. I want to know Catherine.. I know you probably won’t tell McGarrett because you don’t want to ‘ruin’ anything, but honestly.. How do you feel about him? Do you still love him?” Her questions were serious though she wasn’t asking in an accusing manner, she just wanted to know where she stood in relation to McGarrett and if she thought things could be fixed.

Looking back at towards the water, Catherine sighed.. So it seemed that Tani was much like Danny, the mother hen, always worrying about him and looking out for him. She seemed to recall a similar moment with Danny after Kono’s wedding and thought at the time she spoke to Danny about it, she hadn’t lied, she also knew she had upset Danny with not being able to deliever on her promise. If she was honest with herself, she liked that Steve had a group of people around him that cared enough to get involved. He was a tough Sailor but he still had feelings even if he didn’t open up to many people. 

She could never not be honest when ever anyone asked her that question lately, Doris had asked, her own parents had asked, and now it was Tani’s time to ask the question.. Without moving her gaze away from the calming small waves of the ocean, she answered her truthfully, “Yes Tani, I still love him.. I’m still very much in love with him, but when I left, he told me he couldn’t wait for me again and he seems to have moved on and found someone else, so please.. he can’t know we talked about this”. Shaking her head, Tani knew that the woman would say that.. 

Both her and McGarrett were just as stubborn as each other, which is why they were perfectly suited for each other “You do know he still loves you right.. He might be with another woman for now, but that is just for now.. If you want my opinion, I don’t think he has ever or will ever allow himself to move on”. Nodding her head, Catherine sighed, not saying another word. She could sense in the way he held her and looked into her eyes when he was giving her a boost up, how serious he was when he said he was going to really propose, they way they had both tried to hide the pain they were in by joking around about being friends again and how getting involved romantically was a mistake for their friendship. 

**~End flashback~**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is an add on from the last chapter, I have done flash back’s in stories before, and so I really hope you enjoy my first flash back scene of Tani and Catherine have a chat. There will be more to come of different moments over the course of the story. Right now I don’t really have an end period in mind, so I hope you are all willing to just keep riding it out with me. 


	10. Ke hele mai nei i kahi Home (Coming Home)

Catherine was standing near the horses, continuing to just stay with them to settle them, smiling at the memory.. It had felt good to have said those words out loud, voicing her feelings even if it was Tani she was saying it to and not her Sailor. Steve was right, Tani did remind her of herself.. She was confident, and not afraid to speak her mind, and knew exactly what she was doing to get the job done. She was unsure of how long she had been there when she felt two arms wrapping around her waist from behind and pressing soft kisses up the side of her neck, warm breath breathing against her ear lobe as he spoke softly. "Thought I'd find you out here with the horses".

Sighing softly, her eyes closing at the feel of his arms around her, she melted into him, her back leaning into his chest, "You know me too well Sailor". She had lived on a few acres of land before when she lived in Texas and her family had horses and it's where her love of the animal came from.. Not many people knew that but Steve had never forgotten.. "Always Lieutenant". Her hands came down to meet his at her waist, letting their fingers lace together, smiling softly, her breath hitching up when he kissed her neck once more, "Everything sorted?", she asked, her voice still a little breathy clearly showing the effect he had on her still.

"It's all sorted.. I even phoned a funeral home for Joe, they are going to contact the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific in Hawaii for him to be brought back home and buried there. I know that Joe lived here for a lot of his life, but I was going through his will which states he wanted to be buried at the same cemetery as Dad". He paused a little, both knowing what he meant.. They were going to be going back to Hawaii at least for a short time.. "Once we have said goodbye to him and laid him to rest, I want to come back here so we can keep on target and not be risking everyone back in Hawaii if these son's of bitches come back".

What he had planned was not something that a local law enforcement officer should do, or would be legally permitted to do and he was fairly certain that his immunity and means with the Governor wouldn't quite cut it with what he was planning.. Anything he had done over the years where it looked like him crossing the line.. It was nothing compared to what he had in mind when he got his hands on anyone involved in killing his SEAL buddies..

This was war and he was damn sure as hell not going to risk losing everything he had built up in Hawaii, When it came to finally capturing or killing the people involved, Greer and Omar Hasan, he would assemble a team to aid him, however, until that time, he needed his team to remain in Hawaii because he didn't want them to become targets themselves, they had done more then enough by catching the man that had tried to take him out and making the man talk.

It all made sense now, He had a feeling when he was attached in his own kitchen that it was Greer who gave the names of his SEAL team out to the enemy and betrayed them all. He was proud of his team for everything they had done so far, but he knew that he couldn't risk them being involved any more then they had to be. He knew both Danny and Junior would want to be there when it all happened and he would allow them to join the team for that, but this.. It was going to get downright dirty and messy.

Nodding her head, Catherine recognized that whilst it was easier to do everything including burial here, she respected the fact that Joe White wanted to be buried in Hawaii and also that the rest of the team would want a chance to say their final goodbyes to Joe, a man that most of them had known ever since Steve had come back to the island when his father was killed. "What about Cole?", she asked, neither one moving from their current spot, just content to talk as their bodies perfectly slotted together, the need to be close evident to both of them right now.

"The Navy Notification detail are on their way now to notify Tim Cole's family of his death and we're gonna spread his ashes out on Narragansett Bay, ". This was hard on him, he wasn't sure how he would have gotten through all of this without Catherine being right here with him. "Good", her voice was only a soft whisper. Finally turning around in his arms, his arms slowly sliding down her back a little before he pulled her in closer, Catherine's arms sliding up over his shoulders, her fingers lacing around themselves.

"Steve", her voice was soft and low, her eyes moving to look into her eyes.. "What exactly happened here?" She had seen the conditon of the ranch, it looked like it had been ripped apart by a tornado. Sighing softly, he leaned closer to her and held her tighter, the memory of the two of them on horse back to get away and find a doctor or a hospital, then finally as Joe and Steve had that final talk, his former C.O and his father figure dying in his arms was going to be permanently ingrained into his memory for the rest of his life.

Moving to take a seat on a bench nearby, he pulled her into his arms on his lap as he began to talk, the words all rushing out, needing to get it out, and knowing that he anyone, he could trust Catherine."Greer thought Joe White was already dead and I was sure it was her that betrayed the team, so I went to see her, told her Joe was alive.. We wanted to see if she would take the bait, if she would send someone after Joe.. We came here to prepare, even though Joe had told Cole to go into hiding, he was already here when we got here.. There was a huge shoot out, They took Cole out, brought RPG's with them, and then one came into the house, managed to hit Joe before we took him down".

Listening and not saying a word, Catherine just took his hand and squeezed his hand gently to coax him into continuing his story. "I rang and spoke to Lou, that's when they told me who was behind it, but the medivac wasn't going to be there for ninety minutes so we rounded up the horses and were headed out about three mils across the valley to where one of Joe's neighbors who was a retired surgeon lived". Tears welling in his eyes, he recalled when they got about a mile out and Joe told him to stop..

"The son of a bitch played me, there was no Doctor and the only call he made was to call of the medivac.. He wanted to see this little area about a mile from his property for the last time.. We had a few moments, I got to thank him and say what I needed to say.. So did he.. Then he died in my arms, watching the sunset over the mountains".

Catherine's own eyes were filling with tears as she struggled to contain her emotions, listening to Steve recant those moments, realizing that Steve had been all by himself, had to deal with Joe's death alone with no one else as his rock, hugging him a little tighter "Ohh Steve, I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you.. I should have been here for you". She and Steve both knew that had she been on the island when this had all gone down that she would have followed him anywhere, "Your're here now Cath, that's all that matters".

The truth was, he was glad Catherine hadn't been there for that fire fight because it was hard enough to lose all of his fellow SEAL members, and harder still to lose Joe, so he wasn't prepared at all for even the thought of losing Catherine for good. Hugging him tight, her arms wrapping around his neck, his own arms coming around her waist to hold her closer, he realized Joe's words in that moment.. 'Don't wait to long to find someone'.. He didn't have the heart to tell Joe that he had already found the one, and at the time he didn't think they would ever get back to how they used to be, but now..

Now, he had hope.. After nearly being taken out himself and losing his team and Joe, he wasn't about to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him again.. As they sat in that barn, holding each other, the last thing he heard before he finally let himself break down in her arms was her muffled voice, right near his ear, "We're gonna get them Steve, I promise you.. We'll get them and make them pay, you hear me.. I'm with you till the end".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for the support and encouragement. It is because of you all that I am so invested in keeping this story going. I will let you all in on a secret.. I had chapter 8, 9, and 10 all completed on the same day but I thought I'd stager when I added the next chapter on. I'm really pleased as to where this story is heading. I know she uses that line in the original episode I am basing this off, the "I'm with you till the end", but I feel she would say that as many times as he needed to hear it.
> 
> I also decided that since we never really learn what Steve decides to do with Joe's body in the show, I'd do something similar to when Junior brought that Sailor home earlier in season 9 along with Jerry and that Joe White would want to be buried in the same cemetery as John McGarrett because they were close and he was close to Steve as well.
> 
> The next couple of chapters will be escorting Joe back to Hawaii, and then having his funeral, having some time with the five-o team before Catherine and Steve head back to Montana. I can't imagine they had Gregors Thomsen at the Ranch the whole month, so going to Hawaii and then back to Montana would account for some of that time, plus they would have had to come up with a plan to kidnap the lawyer as well. I can imagine Harry Langford would have had a lot do with that as well.


	11. Laweʻia maiʻo Joe i ka home (Bringing Joe Home)

 

 

“Present Arms”, The Navy Lieutenant Colonel from the Joint Mortuary Affairs division called out, The Lieutenant, as well as Steve and Catherine standing to attention and saluting the coffin as it was moved onto the aircraft carrier, staying in that position till the casket was placed onto the carrier when they heard the Lieutenant Colonel call out another order, “Order arms”, all three putting their arms back down to their sides, the Lieutenant Colonel shaking both their hands and once more offering her own condolences, knowing that they both knew Commander Joe White personally. 

It was going to be a long six hour flight for the both of them.. However the moment that he was to step foot back onto Hawaiian soil, he felt like he could rest a little easier for a while.. This was his home and he was damned if anyone was going to make him feel uncomfortable in his own home.. This was exactly where he belonged.. Once a upon a time, he wasn’t sure if Hawaii would ever feel like home again to him, but ever since he came home after his father was killed by Hesse, he felt home.. 

It wasn’t going to be a long stay though.. They were there to say goodbye to Joe, brief the team and then head back to Montana.. They still had a lot of work ahead of them and he needed to talk to Harry Langford.. He had already decided to loop Harry in on this mission, He was one of the best MI6 Agents he had ever seen so there was no chance he was passing up the opportunity to have him by his side when the time came to kick some ass. 

“So, have you talked to Danny again Steve?”, Catherine interrupted his thoughts, looking to her left to catch his eye.. Steve sighed softly, and shook his head.. “No, I haven’t had a chance to talk to him, let him know we were coming home just yet.. I was just too busy getting everything squared up and ready to go in Montana”. Truth was, Steve wasn’t sure he could deal with the sympathy gazes he knew he would be getting from them all, but he also knew he had to do it.. 

Nodding her head, she took his hand and squeezed gently, lacing their fingers together.. “It’s going to be late when we get in, I know for a fact the Navy are organizing for Joe to be taken to the funeral home and all we need to do is go to the service in two days time, so when we get home, we should both get some proper sleep, and then we can meet the team up at HQ tomorrow.. I am sure they will all be there”. She was good at guessing his emotions and how he felt, she knew him as well as, if not better then he knew himself. 

Though Catherine had retired from the Navy, she had returned to the reserves and since both were in the reserves, both always carried a set of their Navy uniforms in their go bags in case they ever needed them.. Both were dressed in their respective uniforms, Steve in his dress blues, and Catherine in her dress whites.. Looking back over at the coffin that was in the middle of the cargo hold, the flag draped over it, it made her a little sad herself.. She may not have been as close to Joe as Steve had been all those years, but it made her think of all those that they had lost.. 

Staring blankly over at the coffin himself, Steve nodded his head.. His head was pounding, his heart aching, his stab wounds where he was stabbed in his own kitchen still taking their time to heal up properly and he was just unsure of himself and feeling a little lost.. His mother was god knows where doing god knows what, his father had been killed, his surrogate father now killed and he felt like everything was falling apart.. The only ray of light that Steve could see right now was that Catherine was referring to his place as home.. 

Squeezing her hand back softly, he smiled sadly and looked back over at her for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing a little.. “Have I told you how much I appreciate you being here Cath?”. Leaning into him a little, she smiled back and nodded her head, pressing her lips chastely on his cheek, then moved back to her original position. Even though it was only them in the cargo hold, she still wanted to be as professional as she could whilst they were still in uniform. “Steve, there is no place else I’d rather be then here with you.. Come on..  I wasn’t about to let you do this alone”. 

Smiling at her words, his heart melted, his body relaxing a little, How was it that she always managed to make him feel so much better with just simple words.. “I know”.. It was still a few hours left of flight time left, and as tired as he was, he knew he would never be able to fall asleep.. He had slept in some weird places before, it was’t the uncomfortable seats, it was more the situation that they found themselves in as to why he wasn’t able to sleep on the plane.. He took the duty of taking Joe home seriously and with honor.. 

“Did you know Cath that when I was asked the question of who would I want to escort my body home.. I choose you”. He needed her to know.. All these years and it wasn’t something either of them discussed but each and every time they lost someone in combat, they both unknowingly to each other privately thought of the day they were asked that question.. The words never had to be said out loud, but Steve wanted Catherine to know that it had always been here, no matter where they stood, or if they were together or not, it had been her he requested. 

Nodding her head, her eyes getting a little teary, she smiled.. “I always thought that it would be my father that I would ask... I couldn’t think of anyone more suited.. then I met you and everything in my world changed.. I even discussed it with my parents and both of them agreed that there was no one else that should have that role besides you.. I always knew that if something should happen to me, it would be  _you_ ", she accentuated, “that I would want to escort me home.. To be honest with you Sailor.. If the CIA had a similar policy, it would still be  _you_ ”. 

A few short hours later, the aircraft had touched down onto Hickam Air Force Base airstrip and Steve and Catherine had exited the aircraft, once again rendering honors to Joe White by standing to attention and saluting the casket as it made it’s way off the aircraft and into a hearse where it would be driven to the funeral home for final preparations for Commander White to finally be laid to rest, Steve and Catherine only letting their arms down once the casket had been fully loaded into the black hearse. 

Standing not far away, leaning against his black camero was Danny Williams.. Catherine had let Danny know that they were on their way back to Oahu and the Detective had insisted on driving Steve and Catherine home knowing that when they got back to Hawaii, it would be late and they would need to catch a taxi or an uber. “Let’s go home, get some sleep Sailor”, Steve nodding at Catherine’s words, picking up their bags that had been placed behind them and began to walk, Catherine walking close enough to him to let him know she was there but not break protocols. 

As he walked towards the parking lot, he spotted Danny standing still on the airstrip near the camero and he turned his head towards Catherine, “You are just full of surprises aren’t you Rollins”, She smiled and chuckled softly, “I aim to please”. Waiting till they were near the car, and Danny opened the boot of the camero, but before Steve had a chance to put their go bags in the boot, Danny pulled him into a tight hug, patting his back, offering his condolences, “I’m so sorry buddy.. We’ll catch the son of a bitch”. Hugging back tightly, he smiled softly, “Thanks Danno, and thanks for doing this.. It’s late, but we really appreciate it”. 

Pulling away from Steve, he nodded, giving him a small smile, “Of course.. You know I’d do anything for you babe”. The two might bicker and argue from time to time, but when all was said and done, these two would lay down their lives for each other. They had started out as strangers, but now.. Now they were best of friends, and Danny trusted Steve with his, and his kids lives, as Steve did with Danny.. Moving over to Catherine, he smiled as he opened his arms to her and hugged her tight, “It’s good to see you Cath”. 

Smiling as she pulled back, she patted his shoulder, “Good to see you too Danny.. Steve had put the bags in the boot and closed it, “Keys?, he asked holding out his hand to Danny... Danny sighing softly and letting out a soft laugh, “I should have known a six hour plane ride wouldn’t deter you from wanting to take over my car.. I’ll let you drive.. only because I know you probably miss driving the camero”. Catherine smiled at the exchanged and went to get in the back of the car, “Nope, you my friend can sit up front with Steve.. I gotta get out anyway when I get to your place to drive back home”. 

It did make Danny wonder how and when Catherine had gotten to Steve so quickly after Joe’s death, though to be honest.. He didn’t mind it at all.. He always said that being with Catherine made Steve a better version of himself and he still felt that sentiment was true even now. He was still a little hesitant in Catherine’s motivations and how long she might be around, not wanting Steve to be hurt anymore then he already was right now, but he did have to admit that he seemed a little more relaxed with her around. 

At some point he would want more information but for now, he didn’t want to pester his friends with too many questions, both looked like they had gone through the wringer the last several days so he decided to leave it, though he knew that neither of them would get away with being on the island for the short time he had them here without a talk of some kind with them one on one. He had already texted Grace and let her know Steve was home for a short time so she would want to come and see him as well.. He hadn’t let her know about Catherine though, deciding to surprise her with that one, knowing that Grace really missed having her Aunt in her life. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the follows, favorites and comments.. I appreciate it all and it really makes the difference when it comes to writing.. You always want to write more when people are excited to read your words.. This chapter, I took some of the inspiration from the episode where Junior escorted an airman back to Oahu for this one. I’ll be getting my other two stories updated this week at some stage as well if anyone is wondering. 

**Author's Note:**

> I recently saw the latest episode of Hawaii 5-0 and the fact that Steve had been there for a month and Catherine Rollins was there before even Danny Williams has inspired me to write this story. I don't know when Catherine arrived there or when he told her about Joe White, however for the sake of my story, I am going on the assumption that Steve told Catherine very early on and she has been there for most of that month. I am going to include formulating a battle plan along with rekindling their love till the moment Danny Williams arrives in Montana. 
> 
> On a separate issue, I am sorry that I haven't been writing fan fictions as much. I am going to eventually try to get a lot of them completed one day, but it is a slow thing. I work full time and I have other issues to attend to outside of work. Hawaii 5-0 is my favorite show at the moment which is why I am gravitating to wanting to write fan fictions for it more then anything else lately. I hope you all enjoy this story. I will try to get a new chapter out once each week, but no promises.


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